Day 167: How To Handle Grievances…


Eph. 4:26 (KJV) Be all of you angry, and sin not…

On our #WinningWithPeople series today, how does one manage grievances, disagreements and annoyances so well that our relationships are not negatively imparted by the heat of the moment?

For a positive outcome, take a ‘time out’.

Spend 20-30 minutes, doing something to distract yourself from thinking about what is upsetting you. You need at least that much time to quiet your body’s aroused state down to ‘normal’.

Removing yourself from the conflict is not enough. The key is to distract yourself from thinking about what aroused your anger. Your body will not settle down as long as you continue to think about the problem and how upset you feel.

Here’s how to go about it:

1. Take a ‘time out’ when overly aroused and ask the person with whom you are in conflict to excuse you for 30 minutes.
2. While away, distract yourself for that length of time. Do and think about something other than the problem or any other thing that might upset you.
3. Keep your commitment and return after 30 minutes.
4. Start over to resolve the conflict from a non-aroused or lower aroused place.
5. Repeat steps 1-4 as necessary until you can achieve a positive outcome.


Each time I am offended, please help me to take a break and draw grace from you so that I do not react in ways that would damage my relationships. Amen.

Francis Adebayo © 2015

Francis Adebayo is the Senior Pastor of Harvest Place, 10, Emmanuel Street, Maryland, Lagos.